I’m loving Autumn this year. The colours are so rich and beautiful, and I’m so enjoying the crisp sunny days.
I said as much to a friend the other day, and she said “Yes, but… it’ll soon be Christmas, and I’m totally stressing about that already!”.
Probably, just about the time she’s ‘got over’ the stress of Christmas, she’ll start dreaming about next summer’s holiday, and counting down the days until she can properly ‘relax’ and just enjoy herself.
This is how a lot of people live their lives.
Psychologists call this ‘Destination Addiction’.
And it’s not just about actual destinations in the literal sense. It’s about the myriad versions of
“I’ll be happy when….”
- when I get that next promotion;
- when I can afford a new car;
- when I find the perfect partner;
- when I have kids;
- when the kids have left home;
- when I retire;
- when the weekend comes;
Many of us put off our happiness, peace and sense of wholeness, believing it to be just out there, somewhere. That it lies in reaching some goal or attaining something outside of ourselves.
As Shawn Achor says in “The Happiness Advantage”, we have pushed happiness over the cognitive horizon as a society.
As soon as we reach one goal, we set another one.
And we miss most of the important and beautiful things as we rush past – peace, joy, a deep sense of well-being, of being fully alive.
There’s a reason it’s called “inner peace”, folks.
It’s never the thing or the person that’s creating the experience, even though it sometimes looks that way.
Realising that it is only and ever Thought, in the moment, that creates our experience, means seeing that our happiness and well-being are inside, all the time. And so, we are only ever one thought away from a whole new experience of being alive.
I’m not suggesting that the aim is to slouch around in your trackie bottoms all day, every day (You can if you choose to – but you may find people come and take your furniture away!)
If you feel inspired to move towards a goal – great. Have at it.
Once we see through the illusion that our experience comes from our circumstances – we are free. Because you know that you are already whole, you don’t need the world out there to ‘fill up your bucket’. Your bucket is already full.
Then you’re free to express your unique and authentic self – and to share your wonderful gifts with the world.
I’ve tried both through my life. The striving, and now the thriving.
And I can honestly say that thriving is better!
Actually it’s not just better in the incremental sense, it’s like the difference between reading a menu, and enjoying every mouthful of a delicious and nutritious meal.
I’ve just scheduled new dates for the He’Art of Thriving workshop – the next one is happening 2 – 4 March 2016. Why not join the 100’s of people who are realizing – through insight – what it takes to truly THRIVE? Find out more by clicking the link in the Forthcoming Events box to the right.
The Riddle of Here
For something so simple.
So simple, that we can’t hold it in our hands.
Or in our heads.
So we look to him. To her.
To them. To there.
To when. To then. To how.
Everywhere but now.
Everywhere but here.
It’s hidden just beyond our cleverness.
So we presume it’s out there.
But perhaps it’s in here?
Do drop me an e-mail with your thoughts about this week’s Musing. I’d love to hear them!