Those of you who know me are aware of my focus on achieving a better male/female balance in the top echelons of male-dominated organizations. Ironically, as part of my remit I find myself attending a lot of female-dominated meetings to discuss it!
I went along to the inaugural City Women’s Network (CWN) conference recently. The attendance was impressive (albeit about 98% female) and the panelists were distinguished and had impeccable credentials. I enjoyed the event and met some fabulous women. However I was disarmed by the slightly sneering tone of some panelists as stories unfolded of the ‘old school’ Chairman who couldn’t possibly be seen to take a young woman out to lunch to discuss her career for fear of how it might be perceived; or the male executive who made the unfortunate faux pas of asking a woman what could possibly be the value of having more women on boards (how could he?).
I was shocked by the language I heard from some women I had private conversations with. One female on the main board of a FTSE 100 company asserted that we need to ‘shame’ men into taking action; and a former CWN committee member explained that men need to be ‘told’ what to do (apparently they like to be told). When I enquired of Stephen, a regional CFO for a Canadian bank, how he would feel about being ‘shamed’ into action or ‘told’ he should have more women on his management team, he looked horrified.
Gender equality in leadership is about bringing more balance to business – challenging the status quo in order to manage risk better; understanding consumers more effectively to garner competitive advantage; making sure we have the best people in top jobs (men and women). As women, we need to be more elegant, more creative and wilier, even, in how we go about it creating it. Surely we don’t have to sink to using the kind of tactics we might expect to find in the school playground.
You see, I believe there is something fundamental we are missing in all of this. We’ve asked ourselves what are the levers for change, and we’ve considered how to gain the attention of those already at the top. And we’ve trotted out the business case, because in a business world that seems like the obvious answer. The truth is, it’s only part of it.
That question
The key question, often omitted, is ‘What’s in it for them?’ (in this case the men at the top). It’s not until we get a handle on what men stand to gain personally from greater gender parity that we will fully engage them in the debate. Right now they can choose not to buy into the business case if they want to – and we’re a bit thin on case studies to point the way forward. As long as we are adopting strategies of ‘shame’ and ‘tell’, we’re not listening to men’s point of view. And we fail to listen at our peril. I believe the outcome is to build sustainable relationships between men and women at the top founded on mutual trust. I’m not pretending it’s always like that in the boardroom, but if we’re going to change cultures for the better, women need to raise the bar and be an example of what they can bring to the party. That starts with our own attitudes and behaviour.
Wholesale change programmes in companies, often embarked upon with great relish, rarely work in a sustainable way. Change takes place conversation by conversation as parties seek to understand each other’s point of view and develop mutual respect.
Call to Action
What changes are you seeking to bring about at the moment? Have you really stopped to consider what’s in it for each of the people you want to influence? If not, how can you find out what’s important to them?
FREE Guide – Gender Balanced Leadership: Preparing for Change
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