I’m often asked by coaches, prospective coaches and clients which coaching ‘model’ I use. My answer often leaves them somewhat bemused…”I don’t”

I consider the human experience far too complex, rich and unique to be pushed or pulled through a generic model. What I have found more useful than applying any specific model, is a set of working principles for me to coach. This quickly impacts upon those I coach and enables us to get to places they may never have considered had we have applied a more traditional and linear process.

I offer these principles as useful working concepts. To get the very best from them and take your coaching into new realms of effectiveness, you don’t need to believe them as such, merely operate as if they may be true…at least for your client if not for you.

People are where they are because they do what they do

Doing what you do has gotten you to where you are today. That’s fine if everything in your life is wonderful and fulfilling, but the fact that this person has approached a coach would ‘hint’ that there’s a certain level of dissatisfaction with at least some aspect of their life and that change is needed.

We’re creatures of habit in both of thinking and behaving. These habits are formed over time to keep us safe and comfortable. Often referred to as our ‘Comfort Zone’ these thinking and behavioural patterns have served you well…until now. One thing is for sure; continuing to think and act the same will only create more of the same. So if you’re seeking some form of change then a change of thinking or doing is needed.

The brain that contains the problem also contains the solution

My favourite quote from Nancy Kline in her book “Time to Think”

“The brain that contains the problem also contains the solution…usually the best one.”

How do you know that something is ‘wrong’ if you don’t know what ‘right’ is?

Deep within our minds, we all have our own ‘solution’. We just allow ‘stuff’ to get in the way and divert our attention or focus. By ‘stuff’ I mean excuses, rules, beliefs and judgements. The stories we tell ourselves about why we do or don’t attempt things, why we can or can’t…all justifications for our current situation. When a person finds themselves ‘stuck’ there are often a number of rules, beliefs and justifications muddying the waters. Knowing that there’s a diamond of a solution in there somewhere is all the knowledge a great coach needs.

Keep it clean

We are all sensitive to the reactions of others and will almost unconsciously adapt and modify our behaviours to remain in rapport with someone and reduce the risk of rejection or disapproval. Your interpretation of the answers you hear, the reactions you see and the feelings you experience will create your own reactions and responses which in turn will be interpreted or misinterpreted by your client. A quizzical look or a raised eyebrow can work wonders for your coaching when used appropriately. They can equally ‘lead’ your client to a very different place than the one they wanted or needed.

People will do what they want to

And by definition will not do what they don’t want to.

When we decide we want to do something…and I mean REALLY want to do something; there is very little that will stop us. So why would someone say that they want to have something or do something and then not to have or do it?

• They don’t want it (or don’t want it enough)
• The goal is too big
• Lack of Clarity
• Fear of achieving
• Enjoying the current situation

There is always a choice…

We just haven’t found or created a compelling one yet. We tell ourselves “there’s no choice” when none of our other current options appeal to us. They may be too challenging, too scary or too uncomfortable.
For more detail on my working principles and some ideas on applying them in practice, contact me at  steve@kaizen-training.com for my full article.

Call to action

I never cease to be amazed at the resourcefulness, creativity and commitment of the people I coach and applying these principles to self is often as useful as applying to others. Feel free to:

• Believe these principles (or not)
• Apply them to self (or not)
• Use them with others (or not)

The choice is yours

Posted Thursday, October 13th, 2011 in . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.