This Kaizen Tip came to you from Helen Krag of the Kaizen Team.
I was having a coffee with a client recently and we were discussing our learning goals and current personal development themes (she, like me, has a smattering of themes on the go at any one time, and it was lovely to share experiences). My client touched on an area I hear a lot about in coaching sessions, which is that of being true to ourselves, or authentic.
Throughout my NLP training and in my client work, I have noticed that the idea of being true to self is an oft recurring theme. I would go so far as to say that, for some, it is the Holy Grail of personal development. Yet, as I listened to my companion, seeds of doubt started to appear. I got the unnerving sense that, in striving to be authentic and true to herself, she was missing opportunities – that job she had decided not to go for; the training course that ‘wasn’t really her’. More than that – she was limiting herself to what she considered possible, all neatly wrapped in a frame of authenticity.
Playing Full Out
I was incredibly fortunate last month to be at Tony Robbins’ Unleash the Power Within (UPW) seminar in Rome. A highly charged and innately powerful experience, one of the key pieces of learning for me (singled out from a rich and bountiful array!) was the concept of ‘playing full out’. We’re talking here about certainty and commitment; mastery, not ‘dabbling’.
As I considered what it would take for me to ‘play full out’ in my life – in my relationships, my work, my hobbies – I realised that I need to spend way more time out of my comfort zone. I spotted values I’ve lived by for years that are no longer supporting me as I grow. I recognised how it’s all too easy to cling on to a particular way of being, and to have that become the excuse for not moving on. ‘It’s just the way I am’, I tell myself.
Is this connecting with you? Do you find yourself denying yourself opportunities because ‘it’s just not me’ to be that way, or have that thing? It’s a really neat and somewhat unresourceful strategy for preventing ourselves from growing in the way we truly want to!
Give This a Go
By all means strive to be true to yourself, but don’t always make it the first thing you do. Ask yourself first: ‘What will best challenge me and take me out of my comfort zone?’
As you flex that muscle of discomfort and ‘not knowing’, the strategy will become more available to you (and you’ll have to work harder to get out of your comfort zone!). Furthermore, as you address these challenges for yourself, you can always choose to do so in a gloriously authentic way!
Good luck, and do feel free to share your experiences with me – helen@kaizen-training.com
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