by Helen Krag
Is ‘control’ a good thing or a bad thing? It’s true to say that even self-confessed ‘control freaks’ are not always quick to broadcast their tendencies – control at the ‘freaky’ end of the continuum is generally considered unhealthy and undesirable!
On the other hand, I work a lot with women leaders and something I’m noticing right now is that many of you feel out of control of your lives. If you’re a man, it’s quite possible you can identify with that too. Sometimes, the need to take control before events spiral downwards, and we lose the plot, can be overwhelming.
To take a closer look at control, I reflected on my weekend. Here are a few of my observations:
- When I drove my car I decided, on balance, that being in control was a good thing. The consequences otherwise were not appealing!
- I felt an overwhelming need on Friday evening to wake up to a clean kitchen on Saturday morning. I washed the dishes on Friday night and applied Dettol to surfaces with uncharacteristic vigour. I don’t have a scary bleach habit like some of my friends, but something in me needed to be in control come Saturday. I awoke the next day with a strong feeling that I could conquer the world.
- I was forced to step in and take control when it transpired that what my 11-year old son had reported as a party ‘invitation’ turned out to be no more than a random ‘conversation’ on Facebook between he and a friend. I called the friend’s mum to clarify. Later that evening, my son attended the party. I felt uncomfortable – in my mind it was borderline gate-crashing!
- Once again I found myself working over the weekend – Saturday and Sunday afternoons. This is something I would like to take more control over generally and free myself up to indulge in proper re-creation over the weekend.
- When I sat down on Sunday evening to create my ‘to-do’ list for the week, there is no doubt I was seeking to create some boundaries about what I wanted to achieve this week – to feel in control.
The reason I share these (potentially trivial) examples is that when we feel out of control we typically seek interesting and creative approaches to redress the balance. We’re unlikely to effectively tackle it all at once, so we find small ways to chip away and feel more in control.
Your Call to Action
Consider the ways in which you take control. Which of them serve you, and where perhaps could you learn to ‘let go’ a little?
Read Helen’s article – ‘5 Important Things Every Busy Person Needs to Know about Taking Control’. It includes some thought-provoking questions to help you regain control for yourself.
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