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Trust your instinct

‘Feeeel, don’t theeenk’, sings out the amiable voice of my French windsurf instructor as I brace myself to crash into the water for the umpteenth time. It’s my debut attempt at this already infuriating sport, and as I emerge, spluttering, from the warm sea I acknowledge, with a smile, how helpful is this gentle reminder of my innate tendency to ‘over think’ things.

For me, that transition from conscious incompetence to conscious competence and then, hopefully, on to unconscious competence is usually a carefully plotted set of conscientiously executed steps. I get there by great planning and sheer hard work.

The trouble is, I do enjoy an explorative discussion, and if there’s nobody around to have it with then I’m perfectly happy to have it with myself! “Check the wind direction; locate the back and front of the board; feet in the right position?; tuck in my bottom; arms straight; pick up the sail with the back hand; cross over to grasp the wishbone; arms straight; now, in which direction am I travelling?; not sure my feet are in the right place …” by which time the onshore wind has nudged me beachward and I’m forced to jump off into the shallow surf.

I think it might be the mathematician in me that revels in the rigour of a solution that has its roots in first principles. Why take a shortcut when there’s a labyrinth of ideas and intellectual concepts to be mulled over? Of course, there are times when that approach is desirable, essential even. But just lately I’ve been noticing how it gets in the way.

Two examples come to mind.

Over-intellectualising can mean that I’m brilliant at articulating both sides of an argument, which in turn keeps me from achieving my outcome. A case in point is the replacement of my dying laptop: I’ve been pontificating for months now. What’s holding me up? My current laptop is a Sony VAIO which I bought because many of my friends had them at the time and were saying great things about that model (it was ‘the one’ to have). It runs on a Microsoft platform, which was a ‘no-brainer’ because that’s the operating system most widely available for PCs and it’s what I’ve always used. The laptop is almost 4 years old and it keeps freezing and programmes take a long time to open up. As I use my laptop for several hours most days, this wastes time.

Many of my friends, and even my son, have switched to Mac. Without exception, everyone who has an Apple computer seems to swear by it – it’s cool, it’s fast, it does whizzy things that amuse them, and they just ‘wouldn’t go back’ (they say that a lot!). The problem is that the programmes I use 90% of the time operate on a Microsoft platform. Many of them are available in a Mac version, but my database software is not. I’m told that I can run the two operating systems side by side on a Mac, but if I’m spending 90% of my time on the Microsoft side, what’s the point?

I could go on (and on) … so can you start to see how my ‘reasoning’ strategy stops me from moving forward?

The second scenario deals with when I fail to listen to my intuition and I make bad decisions, or I miss opportunities. This might be something as simple as writing an important email. There was one example recently where I made a very clear point and it read well. I then tagged on an extra piece at the end which didn’t really fit, but I wanted to get it in for the ‘sake of completion’. I asked a friend to review it, and he advised I took out the ‘tagged on’ part. The thing is, my gut was already telling me to do just that, but I had overridden it. I can think of countless of these examples, some of them totally trivial: Do I really want that second latte today, or would a peppermint tea be just a good?

I’m training myself to pause and check in with what is really the right thing. I’m learning to trust myself, which is surprisingly liberating.

Time to Reflect

Do share your insights here, and if there are any fabulous windsurfers amongst you, please get in touch and let me know how you do it!

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2 Comments

  • Stuart Cheers-Berry says:

    hi Helen

    great article.

    I can totally relate to both examples you gave about over-intellectualising(awesome word) situations.

    a great example for me would be my current work situ; I’m feeling completely undervalued and totally unfulfilled; now my instinct says “stu, you don’t get paid enough here and you really want a job that gives you the chance to really influence people’s lives in a positive way, so start looking for a new job”…..whereas my “head” says (in a voice that sounds a lot like my dad) ” stu, you can’t leave; think of how much work you’ve put into projects here, what if your opportunity here is just round the corner and the job market isn’t great”

    you see!!!

    I’m really glad I read your article today cos even though I still can’t decide what to do, at least it took my mind off of having to make the decision for the last 15 mins!!

    hope you have a fantastic day

    Stu

  • Helen Krag says:

    Hi Stu,

    Thank you so much for sharing your fab example … and it brought a smile to my face because I so get it!  My colleague Al had a technical term for the kind of thinking our examples exemplify (IT issues prevent me from looking it up right now) and I was keen to discover if there is a solution (preferably a quick, easy one).  Al suggested tossing a coin … so you always have that option!

    The thing is, I suspect 90% of the time we already know the right answer.  I wonder if that’s true for you …

    I wish you all the best in deciding on next steps – let me know how you get on!

    Helen

    PS – just got myself a shiny new iMac.  Still requires more effort before I’m up to unconscious competence, but early signs are promising!

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